What the heck is coming around the corner??

I'm not ready to graduate.

That sentence scares the crap out of me. I feel like no one can help me, either. I'm just stuck, trying to enjoy my last few months at Concordia and trying not to dread what comes after May 9. I don't have a plan. I have to just start looking in random places for random jobs in random places. I wish I'd been smart enough to pick a major that had something specific for me to do. I really wish I was a zoology or biology major so I could work with dolphins--or any kind of animal for that matter. I want an outside job in a beautiful location where I'm constantly working with and interacting with people and/or animals.

Then sometimes I think I want to be like Gernant or Zum Hofe. Teaching kids enthusiastically about English or Communication, at the college level, allowing them to think so freely. If I would ever follow in my mom's footsteps and become a teacher, these are the areas I would want to teach. (I realize that this and my last post seem like I'm sucking up to the professor--but just ask Emily. I can't/won't suck up. I just actually enjoy this--so I'm being honest.)

I'm about to graduate yet I'm still at the stage of my life where I envision myself doing everything and anything, not something.

I have no money. So I'm worried that in order to just be able to live immediately after college I'll have to move in with my mom. I love my mom, but I really don't want to do that.

My dream life is to live on some pretty island somewhere, maybe own some sort a shop: a bookstore, art store--something cool. And have a fairly flexible schedule, but definitely have afternoons/evenings off so I can lay in my hammock and catch up on my HUGE list of "books to read". Maybe I'll run around with my big dog or play with my turtle (both of which I have to get once I get to this island). I want to live in a bungalow. I don't want to wear shoes for the majority of the day and I want to be able to wear shorts or my swimsuit for the majority of the day.

Maybe I'll be a tour guide somewhere. I wouldn't mind being a tour guide for any interesting location: a National Park, a museum, a garden--anything.

I wonder if I can try something new every 4-5 years. I'm not concerned with making lots of money. I've been poor my whole life. I feel the pinch even more now. I live paycheck to paycheck, and that usually runs out the weekend it gets deposited into my bank account. I just want a life I love and to do something that makes me want to get out of bed almost every morning.

Oh, I'll run a bed & breakfast on this awesome island I live on.

Wandering aimlessly: Alicia