Where do you want to go?

As usual, I couldn't think of a blog topic. I decided to randomly search the internet for inspiration... but as I couldn't think of a topic to write about, it was equally hard to think of a topic to google.

I ended up checking out Geography U, Dr. Helmer's blog. (I have to admit I haven't been keeping up-to-date with it, as interesting as it is.) He had a blog topic concerning pictures being worth a thousand words--so I clicked on the link to National Geographic to check out some of their photos. I'm a big nature person, so it's no surprise I ended up in that section.

This picture grabbed me. It's a U.S. temperate rainforest in Washington State's Olympic National Park. I've never been west of Colorado--much less to the west coast--but I still found it hard to believe that a place like that exists in our country... or in real life, for that matter. It looks like something out of a fairy-tale or dream. I was actually reminded of Alice in Wonderland, and half-expected to see the Cheshire Cat's tail poking out from behind a tree.

So then I started thinking about the movie/book, and the part where Alice encounters the cat in a tree near a fork in the road. “Which road do I take?” she asked. “Where do you want to go?” was his response. “I don’t know,” Alice answered. “Then,” said the cat, “it doesn’t matter."

I remember laughing as a young girl at this line, but I never really thought about it till now.

Where do you want to go?
I honestly couldn't tell you.
Then it doesn't matter.

--AEM

Sugar - Less

When I was a little girl, I lived in a no-sugar household. I mean it. Unless it came in natural form, in fruit, in honey or other such products, that was the best it got. I used to have to eat Kix with no sugar, Cheerios with bananas on top, sparkling water instead of pop, popsicles made in those Tupperware molds from juice that came out of a can. Imagine if you will, licking frozen orange juice while your neighbors have lips of blue from their plastic tubes of Mr. Freezes. I was always embarrassed to bring birthday treats to school because my mom would make Carob (anyone know what this is) Cupcakes with fructose or Spiced Cake with honey frosting. Everybody hated them.

The only time this was different was when we had tomatoes from our summer garden. I guess it was something that my mom couldn't imagine not having sugar alongside. So what would I do? I would sprinkle sugar on top of my tomato until my mom would threaten, "Laurie, I think that's enough" and I'd always try to get one more sprinkle on the tomato.

The funny thing about me and if you know me well, you know I hate tomatoes. I hate their texture; I hate their seeds; I hate the slimy-ness of them, the sound they make when squeezed. When I watch Rachael Ray or another Food Network star squeeze them over a pan, I shiver.

And I knew when I was allowed the one pleasure of sprinkling sugar on those summer tomatoes that I would have to eat the tomato. But I ignored the tomato at first. I would literally take my fork and slide my tomato-topped sugar onto my plate and lick it with my tongue. Yes, there were some tomato guts attached to it, but it didn't matter. The sugar was for once not forbidden. But eventually, the sugar would be gone and all that would be left would be the tomato, guts, seeds and slimy redness left on my plate. I would have to sit there until I gagged it all down. Usually after another ultimatum from my mother - "You have until the big hand is on the ____ to finish eating that tomato."

As I think about that memory today, I wonder how I still do this in my life. How I know the tomato is under there, slimy and evil with each gag-reflex capacity. But I still pile on the sugar. Knowing that eventually, the sugar will be gone, the lovely sweetness licked to kingdom come. And I will come face to face again with that tomato.

What if I would put less sugar on top? What if I made the gagging down of it quicker? What if I chose not to ignore the fact that I do the same thing over and over again, always knowing what the outcome will be?

It makes me wonder what the sugar in our lives covers up. It makes me wonder why I desire it there in the first place -- that to mask, is better than to taste. That to relish first artificially is more important than to pay attention to what lies there naturally.

Tonight, I am frustrated by sugar.
~LZH

Of Convenience and the Digital Age

I know the subject is far from new and a number of people have beaten the topic to death, but just hear me out on this one. There still might be some semblance of life left in it.

Facebook has gotten the strangest and most confusing reputation I've seen in anything. People complain about how intrusive it can allow others to be [often referred to as stalkerbook for this reason] and how addictive all its functions make it. At the same time, people are flocking to it on a regular basis. I don't think we've come to be dependent on a parasitic entity, though. It's more of a symbiotic relationship born from mere convenience. Messaging, sharing links, sending invites to different events, creating digital 'clubhouses' for groups to meet and interact...Facebook makes it all so easy. It has so many functions built into it now that one doesn't really need to go anywhere else to socialize online. This makes it awesome for me because I don't like to use the phone anymore than I have to. In some instances, the phone is nicer and more convenient than anything online, but it is far from my preferred medium of communication. Above all else, I treasure face-to-face communication, but when that isn't an option, instant messengers and Facebook become my medium of choice. I don't mind txting too much, but unless you have Verizon [I can txt people on my network for free] we won't be having many conversations that way.

Anyways, the reason the whole topic of Facebook and our relationship with it came to mind was because of an occurance that I became aware of today. There is a person, of whom name, gender, and all other identifiers will be withheld, whom my acquaintance with has been manic-depressive, to put it quite mildly. I went onto one person's page to leave them a message and I saw this acquaintance had left a wall post there. This acquaintance had changed their profile picture and I decided to go to their profile to get a better look. Instead of being directed to their page, I was given the pop-up giving bare-bones information about the acquaintance and the set of options that include 'Add as friend.' Not much more than a month ago, this person and I spoke with decent frequency. We never had an argument or fight. I had noticed the acquaintance completely ignoring me when our paths cross anymore, which is frequent, but I figured it was nothing mroe than a phase like all the other phases. It didn't quite strike me as serious until I found out I was no longer their friend on Facebook.

Now, I know the initial reaction by most people I know about this sort of thing is 'See how seriously people take occurances on Facebook? It's sad.' I know this because I've been one to say that time and time again. This little event changes my perspective, though. When we want to know something and can't/won't use any direct methods to gain that knowledge, we become little sleuths that search for evidence to prove or disprove our personal theories and others we've heard. Facebook is a major method or interaction among people now, and it makes the gathering of evidence much easier and faster. We're not doing anything different...we're just using a faster and more convenient method to do the same things.

With that explained, you can't really blame me for taking the news that my acquaintance and I are no longer Facebook friends as a slightly serious matter. As far as I've ever observed myself and others doing on Facebook, the removal of someone from your friends list truly marks the end of any interaction you hope to have with that person. Now, I have my theories as to why this has happened, how serious this really is, and all that blah blah blah that in the end doesn't matter. That's not what is important here. What is important is analyzing Facebook for what it truly is instead of tacking on opinions and ideas that have only scratched at the surface. I challenge you all to take a close look at all the many parts of Facebook and create an educated point of view on it.

-Josh

Hard Writing

To be completely honest, I have been putting off writing my "hard" essay since the beginning of this class. I have avoided this subject as much as possible, scanning my mind, trying to come up with another topic that I could use as a cover and claim that this was my hard piece. But I cant. I've known since the minute we started talking about hard writing what that is for me. Do you ever bury something so deep that sometimes it really almost does disappear? You've worked so long and hard to supress it and lock it away that to risk opening it up, even just a little, is absolutely terrifying. I know what I need to write. I even think I know what style I want to write it in. But I don't want to start it. The thoughts and emotions this topic might bring out are going to be overwhelming. It will not be easy write about, hence the "hard" writing. Therefore, I will put this off as long as possible which is why I am blogging about it now and not starting my first draft.

SRH

Past and Pending
A great song by The Shins. If you don't know it, you should look it up. Incidentally, one of the innumerable songs he played for me, for my pretty little ears he claimed to like so much. It has an undeniably fantastic French Horn part in the song, to which I say this: any musical group that can incorporate a French Horn into a song so well deserves my total respect.

French Horn
My second instrument, after the saxophone. I was always second or third chair, never quite good enough at it. But I did love it, and still do- the sound of the French Horn seems to fill any empty spaces that reside inside myself inevitably each day. His girlfriend at the time played the French Horn and he reminded me of this often.

Girlfriends
Annoying, a lot of the time. I've been one once in my life. I have not been one since, for going on three years.

Three Years
My nephew, Jake, is three years old. He's great and my self-proclaimed "only man in my life." I can't imagine a world without him. My other nephew, Wyatt, will be one-year-old in March.

One Year
The amount of time I've spent wishing I were his girlfriend. I hope that in three years I will have forgotten him, and that I can't imagine a world with him.

Forgetting
I don't remember how I got here.

Dinosaurs

The Land Before Time:
This is the movie that began it all for me. After watching the adventures of Little Foot and his dino friends I became a dinosaur fanatic. My bedroom was dinosaur themed; including a dinosaur mural, wall paper, comforter, and sheets. This film was intended for children, but the scene where Little Foot's mother dies could bring adults to tears. This movie was so good that the producers decided to make 12 more sequels.

Dinosaurs (the television series):
Aside from Full House and Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, this was the only television show that I faithfully watched. With such memorable lines as, "Gotta love the baby!" how could you not fall in love with the Sinclair family. I recently watched a few episodes of this show on DVD and realized that some of the themes were semi-serious including drug usage and sexual maturity. Yikes! I'm glad I never picked up on that as a kid.

We're Back! A Dinosaur's Story:
This is the poor man's Land Before Time. Kids who never got to see Land Before Time when they were younger maintain that this is the best dinosaur-themed animated film. I admit this film is entertaining, but lacks the heart that Land Before Time emanates.

Valley of the Gwangi:
Okay, I haven't actually scene this one, but I couldn't pass it over. This movie is about cowboys (some where in the dessert) that fight dinosaurs. Yes, you read correctly...cowboys vs. dinosaurs. Could you ask for a better, more American combination? Just watch the trailer for it on Youtube...you'll be laughing for hours.

Jurassic Park:
One of the best films of all time...according to me. When I saw this as a youngster I was amazed at the unbelievable realistic nature of the film's dinosaurs. Great acting, great special effects, and a great story. Thank you Steven Spielberg for bringing Michael Crichton's book to life. This movie will live forever in film history.


Carson-osaurus

Movies

So, I just watched the Oscars and it prompted me to want to share some of my favorite movies with you:

Steel Magnolias

In Steel Magnolia's there is a scene in a cemetery where Sally Fields is, essentially, freaking out. She is sobbing and hysterical and then talking quickly about things she needs to do and then sobbing and then talking and then laughing and this is something that I 1) can relate to and 2) cannot see without weeping. I think this is such a great testament to life. It can change in the drop of a hat. That makes it unbearable at times, but brilliant at others.

Crossroads

You will all LAUGH when you read this. But I really like the Britney Spears movie, Crossroads. I know I know. It is awful, maybe this says something about me... but I just love it. It is about friendship and love and roadtrips. It's about how friendships can fill the holes that we have in our lives and I think that is a beautiful expression.

Knocked Up

I'm not gonna lie, this movie is just dang funny. I mean, really. Successful woman get's knocked up by worthless man. What a horrible situation. Yet, the moral of the story is that the result of such horribleness is something so beautiful. I think this is a great message. That things happen for a reason and that even in the worst of times there is an ending worth waiting for. It reminds me of the fact that the end of a caterpillars world is the beginning of a butterfly's.

The Dark Knight

Sounds cliche (especially with Heath just winning the Oscar, yes!) but this is one of the best movies ever. Seriously. IT is like 3 hours long and I didn't even care. I still saw it like 4 times in theaters. What a great flick. So many metaphors in that piece of work. About life. About death. About living for good or evil. And the credit you get for each. Plus it is jam packed with awesome action and amazing acting. *sigh* It doesn't get much better than that.

When Harry Met Sally

I love this story. Best friends falling in love after a long time of being just friends. What a great story about God's plan working out EVENTUALLY... even 12 years later. It just reminds me of Hebrews 11:1 (Faith is being sure of what you hope for and certain of what you do not see).

Pride and Prejudice

Just artfully and beautifully done. The details in this movie are amazing. It makes you fall in love with the characters completely. As someone who considers themselves in the "Creative Field," I find myself appreciating this fact so much. The subtle way the movie shows Mr. Darcy and Elizabeth's love. It is the type of movie that makes you want the fairy tale. While I don't know that the "fairy tale" is smart to desire, I also think that high expectations will ultimately bring what you want the most. Even if it takes longer and is harder.

Pineapple Express

Not gonna lie. I had to throw this one in there... it has some good messages about friendship... but in reality I just think it is super funny.

Difference

So, this is not my "for class" blog. This is just what is on my mind. I will do the "assignment" next.

Remember when we talked about what our "difference" is. Well, generally speaking, I feel like a woman's difference, in comparison to a man, is revolving around her emotional mindset. It is what makes us who we are. Our world view is what makes us women and if you took away that feminist epistemology and emotional background you would have... well... a man.

Now, I look at the world and I see that women who remove this side of their lives are commonly alone. They are too similar to men themselves. No man wants to marry a woman who is man-ish, who hides her emotions. They call her a bitch. Yet, if most men desire a woman's woman... why do they seem to have such little respect for what makes us different and what makes us into that woman that they desire? Our emotional side.

I personally think that it is the fact that they are terrified of what they do not know. I can relate. I feel similarly toward them. The way they compartmentalize and react drives me crazy; yet, I genuinely feel like when they show their manly colors and differentiate themselves from women, I take a step back and try to wonder about why it is... logically. However, it seems to be the opposite for men. When emotions get involved they take a step forward and try to force their views in our faces. Why can't they just step back and see that we don't see things the way they do. Why are they trying to take away the thing that makes us who we are.

Are they scared of the unknown? Or simply scared of the challenge...

They need to make up their minds.

PS. I don't intend for this to be a Man Hating post. I just genuinely wonder about this subject. Please feel free to respond. ;)

Emily

Next?

Michael

33.  My oldest brother is eleven years older than me.  He is the oldest in the family.  He has a master's in forestry from the University of Illinois.  He has a wife, Jen, and two daughters, Kaylee and Emma.  Mike and Jen have been married for almost ten years, which is almost half of my life.  

Karen

32.  I only have one sister and she and I are almost exactly ten years apart, only off by a month.  She and I are each other's favorites- she spoils me more than anyone else.  She is married to Brian and has a son, Eli, and daughter, Clarie.  I am one of Eli's sponsors. 

Nathan

30.  He and I have a special bond.  I don't know why, but I always have looked up to him, even though he does really stupid things.  Now he is a pastor.  He, too, is married to Ruth.  We don't like Ruth.  She stole Nathan from the family.  He is the one who is never around.  They have two children, Benjamin and Lilly, and one more on the way.  He is the odd one in the family now.  He is the one who is never around.

Stephen

27.  Steve and I have the least functional relationship.  I think we are the most alike, but it pains me to even think it!   Now he is a high school math teacher in Iowa.  He is married to Pam.  He and Pam met here at Concordia where he proposed under the Ginko tree (I'll gladly share the story- just ask).  They have two children, Jonah and Markus.  

Phillip

25.  He is the quiet one, too smart for his own good.  He surprised the heck out of us all three weeks ago by proposing to his girlfriend of a year.  We never thought he would do this.  We never thought Phil would get married.  He isn't as socially awkward anymore or as quiet, though his conversation seems to be limited to Maria (fiance) and trees.  They are getting married in about a year.

Rachel

22.  The youngest of the brood, soon to enter the "real" world (2 months and 18 days)  Has 8 almost 9 nieces and nephews, 4 brothers, 1 sister, 1 brother-in-law, and 3 (almost 4) sisters-in-law.  Is starting to really feel like the odd one out since Phil got engaged and that she has a lot to catch up on... comments such as, "you're next" are starting to appear in conversation with family friends and relatives... gag me.  It does get start unhappy thoughts about me always being the odd one out and being the one who stays single.

Auntie Dee

Mom's sister.  She was married once for about  7 years to a guy from Canada (Brett).  Apparently he cheated on her and wanted his girlfriend to move in with them.  Auntie Dee kicked him out.  She is a control freak.  Now is 59 and has no children and is going through a stage in which she has many regrets and realizes she has no one to pass her belongings or memories to.  She's not my favorite person.

Great Aunt Emma

92.  Mom's aunt, still living on her own.  She was the only girl in her family with 5 brothers.  She never got married.   Her memory is failing.  Dementia.  My great uncle Louie's wife and my grandma come and take care of her, because she has no children or grandchildren to take care of her.  She never let us take our shoes off when we were little.  She always had Andes mints in a candy dish on her coffee table.

Rachel

Anger
Why did he call me this week? He calls and acts like things are fine when they haven't been in a long time. I don't understand why he thinks I will always be here at his beck and call. He hurt me. He did wrong by me. Why should I be kind and pretend things are ok? They are definitely not.

Happy
I love road trips. It is my favorite time to be with my best friend. We sit and talk as we drive and drive for hours. I can only imagine what someone else would think if they were to observe us. Laughing at the most ridiculous things and catching up since we haven't seen each other in awhile. I absolutely love these times. It is a perfect reminder of why we are best friends.

Peace
We've been in conflict for awhile now. It has been well over a month since we spoke last. Neither of us wanted to be the one to break the silence, and after a while, it becomes too easy to just let it go. We finally talked and it went better than I could have ever expected. There was no arguing, no one being defensive. We finally had a mature conversation about everything and I finally feel like there is peace between us. It's a great sense of calm.

SRH

Friday
Rushed out of Eng 328 to get home before my great-aunt, Ruby, passed away. I couldn’t bring myself to going into her hospital room because I want to remember her how I saw her at Christmas. Something I may regret later, but right now, I feel like it was an okay decision. I sat with the family who hadn’t slept in a week and was tired of crying throughout the week when I hadn’t started crying until the drive home from Seward when it became somewhat real. The hospice nurse sat down with us at the hospital and told Ruby’s daughters what would happen with hospice care. My Mom and I went to leave the hospital. As I hit the button “down” for the elevator the doors opened from both sides as they wheeled Ruby in from the other side. The sight I didn’t want to see, I saw vaguely.

Saturday
Ruby passed away at 1:45 a.m. with her daughter’s at her side. It’s a blessing, but hard at the same time. Hard in words that I can’t really describe. When my mom told me, I was okay with it. Ruby had a strong faith in God… and football . I was able to laugh at the time she scolded me at Christmas for not always watching a football game when it was on TV. I was able to think about how much of a die-hard Husker fan she was. She had a stuffed Herbie Husker that would sit and watch the games with her. If Nebraska was losing, Herbie would face the wall. That night I went out with a friend of mine as though nothing had happened because she lost her dad to cancer in November. Went to Pizza Hut and talked about life and the new normal that her family is discovering. It felt as though the whole weekend revolved around the talk of death.

Sunday
It’s starting to hit and definitely hit with my Grandma today. My brother came home for lunch, which was good; I hadn’t seen him since Christmas, which isn’t a long time for some people, but it is for me. They were going into see the family tonight, which I wish I could go, but I can’t and I’m accepting that it’s okay.

~LAB

Crying:

The act of salty liquid escaping from your eyes for no reason, every reason in the world, or reasons you can't explain.

Anger: 

The attitude I feel toward my friends sometimes, my parents sometimes, myself a lot of the time. Sometime this emotion gets pent up in your heart and it comes out in unexpected, unexplained actions. One of those actions is often crying.

Frustration:

Agitation with a little fact of life, like your roommate never taking out the trash, a bug in your juice, or losing your keys for the fourth time one day. Irritation toward large aspects in life, like your overbearing boss or overbearing lover. Sometimes frustration leads to crying.

Sadness: Can be deep or shallow. Depressing feelings that lodge themselves in your heart. Broken thoughts because something or someone is missing in your life and you don't know how to get that person or thing back. Always results in the desire or complete action of crying. Usually deep sobs are related to sadness.

Joy: A surprise that brings happiness or a relief of a previous burden. Sometimes just a way that people go about living their life. Tears of joy come in the form of crying.

Pure Release: Crying

Provider of this beautiful way to express all emotions: Jesus

Hannah

passwords

I really hate passwords. I have so many of them I can never remember which goes with which. By the time I finally figure it out it's too late and I'm kicked off. To solve this problem I could just write them all down in my trusty planner, but since I have already lost my first planner and was forced to get a new one I'm gonna say that writing them down is not a great idea.
You know, I guess I'm a fan of biometrics. Maybe we could just touch our fingerprints to the screen to log in...no, that won't work either. I should just be responsible and remember my passwords.

~WAS

What Ain't No Country I Ever Heard Of! Do they speak English in What?

So, I am sick, and when I am sick my creativity and motivation plummet. I had a really good idea for a topic for this blog a few days ago, but its gone, having been replaced by a forest of facial tissues in my trash can. So, I will instead blog about my love for Quentin Tarantino films.

Yesterday I made the journey into Lincoln, nose clogged and head swirling, just so I could pick up the newly released DVD of Choke that the Walmart in Seward neglected to have. Lincoln neglected to stock this gem in any of the stores I visited, either, so I picked up the collector's editions of Pulp Fiction and Jackie Brown, Tarantino's 2nd and 3rd films. I had seen Pulp Fiction before [as the 5 foot long poster in my living room proudly announces my love for], but Jackie Brown had eluded me for years. In fact, it is the only Tarantino film I had yet to see. Returning home groggy, but alive, I ceased to make my presence known in the world for over 5 hours while I watched both films [with a quick intermission during Pulp Fiction to join a friend at the bar].

I don't know what it is exactly, but Tarantino can't seem to do wrong in my eyes [wait, he did Death Proof...maybe he's done one wrong thing]. I own Reservoir Dogs, Pulp Fiction, Jackie Brown, and Death Proof, and once I feel confident in my financial position again, the Kill Bill films shall find their way into my collection, as well. He's brilliant and creative. Enough said.

I'm going to take more medicine, lie down, and possibly suffer through Death Proof just to make sure I don't like it.

-Josh

This is How I Think

Hard Writing
This is the kind of writing Zum Hofe is asking us to write. I don't find the writing entirely hard. I find dealing with it, rereading, and reworking it hard. After I wrote it, I didn't want to look at it again. It was too hard.
Therapy
It's theraputic to write hard writing. I like to just write it, get it out of my system, and never visit it again. It's a great release. It's like being able to confess something or tell someone something without them feeling obliagated to "say something".
Honesty
I tell my mom EVERYTHING. I want to share my hard essay with her. I already told her about it and told her I would send it to her when it was finished. I realized, though, that I have to take out a few lines that would probably make her very sad. But I feel that this takes away from the complete honesty of the package. But there's no way I can share those lines with her. It would confirm thoughts that she already believes.
Keep your mouth shut
I find that life would be much simpler if we communicated less--or used simpler communication. If I could just NOT talk, text, email, or call so much, I wouldn't have to always try to keep track of all my communication and worry about what I've communicated. I woudn't have written this essay so I wouldn't have told my mom about it over the phone and I wouldn't have told her I would share it with her. I would have kept the essay in my head, where it belongs, and no one would have ever known otherwise.
Silence
Someday I will learn to listen rather than speak. Everyday I learn the hard way that talking too much gets you into trouble. Yet everyday I learn the hard way that talking too much gets you into trouble. I'm obviously not actually learning. Hopefully I will learn what to keep quiet about. Honesty + Communication = Alicia talking about everything and anything that ever enters her head.

Actors vs Their Parents

Drew Barrymore
Today, the 22nd, is the fabulous Drew Barrymore's birthday. Most of you will remember her from movies like Charlie's Angels, Music and Lyrics, Never Been Kissed - her production debut - or her most recent movie, He's Just Not That Into You. Drew had a rough childhood. After being thrust into the spotlight because of the blockbuster movie E.T. the Extra Terrestrial and her role as the little sister, Gertie, she dropped out of school and was in and out of rehab for about a decade. A year after writing her own biography "Little Girl Lost" at age 14, she moved into her own apartment following a successful juvenile court petition for emancipation. She has never relapsed since. In 2007 she was named number one in People's Annual 100 Most Beautiful People list.

Cameron Diaz
Best friend to Drew Barrymore, Cameron was raised in San Diego California. At age 16 she went away to try out her modeling career that soon began in Japan. She became quite successful and soon returned to the states to start her acting career. She is best known for her roles in Charlie's Angels, The Mask, There's Something About Mary, and Shrek. In 2008, Forbes magazine listed Cameron Diaz the highest paid actress in Hollywood.

Tom Green
Former spouse of Drew Barrymore, is a major comedian with his own show. The popularity of it and his infamous "Bum Bum Song" was unamusing to his parents who wanted no part of it. He still included them in many of his sketches including one in which he put a cow's head in their bed since his father was a fan of The Godfather. His show Tom Green Live! ended in 2007 and since then he has produced and starred in movies including Freezer Burn: The Invasion of Laxdale, Shred, and Legacy.

Screw Pleasing Your Parents
There are many actors and actresses that actually did follow their parents wishes, graduated from college and then went on from their such as Sara Gilbert, Lauren Graham, Julia Stiles and many more. Most actors and actresses though, once they've been in the spotlight can imagine nothing else. You get paid the big bucks, you get to meet the most amazing people, you get free drinks and access to the best places in the drop of a hat, some of you even get action figures or dolls that look just like you. Who needs schooling if you can act smart?
-CK

Colorado

Aspen
The ski town in Colorado a lot of people go to. Elevation 7908 ft, population 5914. Several famous people have lived here, including John Denver.
Also the name of the beautiful gold trees that grace the mountains in the fall. Also something a lot of people go to see.
Broncos
Denver's professional football team, winners of the Super Bowl in 1997 and 1998. Also the only team to have John Elway as a player. The horse mascot, Thunder, is often galloped around the endzone when the team scores a touchdown.
Denver
The capital city of Colorado, its elevation is 5280 ft, giving it the title “Mile-high city.” Oddly enough, most of the city is above this actual elevation, as Denver is in the floodplain of several creeks and rivers. Due to ever-changing technology, the official mile-high mark on the steps of the city's capital building is sometimes changed.
Evergreen
Refers to trees that never lose their leaves, and many of the pines of the mountains are as such. The state tree is the blue spruce, also an evergreen tree. The constance of color year round makes the mountains prime to be visited in any season.
Hayman fire
Took place in 2002 and burned 138,000 acres. After a severe summer of drought and several previous years of drought, it was only a matter of time. So hot and strong that there was ash at my house and haze in the sky, despite the hundred miles it was away. A reminder that nature still is untamed.
Leadville
Elevation 10,152 ft, population 2688. Highest incorporated city in the United States. Was once a booming town for silver mining. I once ran a cross country race there, quite a lightheaded-type experience.
Mint
One of the two places in the United States to make the change used by the whole population. I bet they stay busy every day, that's a lot of money.
Rocky Mountain Range
The name for the mountain range that runs through the state. Tallest is Mount Elbert at 14,440 ft. Many people come to climb the fourtneeners of the state. Although large, the mountains are not visible when first entering the state from the east; it is more plainsy and dry.
Sand Dunes National Monument
One of my favorite travel sites when I was little, it is like visiting the desert, climbing mountains of sand. It gets quite hot as well. When one gets tired of climbing, it is fun to play in the creek around the base of the dunes.

~Jessica

Simulacrum

Jean Baudrillard describes, in his writing, the Simulacrum- when the distinction between reality and its representation breaks down. He says that an image-sign goes through 4 stages:
1. It is the reflection of a basic reality
2. It masks and perverts a basic reality
3. It marks the absence of a basic reality
4. It bears no reality to any reality whatsoever- it is its own pure simulacrum.

I think this process is a reflection of our lives at Concordia University. First as writers. We spend a lot of time reading the words and works of other writers of creative non fiction, (1)then we try to imitate what they have written (because they are obviously 'good' - whatever that means - and maybe we can be good to if we imitate their style, subject matter, etc). In our writing, (2)we make subtle differences to make it our own. (3)we recognize that in our absence it doesn't quite measure up to the standard we sat set based upon others' works, therefore (4)it really isn't anything like the other writer. This would not be a problem except for the justification we have created to copy their writing (it is 'good'), and our writing isn't like their writing so it must be 'bad'.

Another example. We claim to be 'Christians'- (1)to act in the way Christ acted and follow his teachings. (2)we can never really follow those tenets because we lack the ability,(3) then we see our actions not matching up, so we create justifications and modifications to the rules (I will pay back the money I stole from my roommate, or she didn't get the money legally anyway so it isn't technically stealing). This again leads to (4)our rules being drastically different from, if not opposite to, the teachings of Christ.

I think a portion of Christianity needs to be reflected onto our writing. Just as we have received forgiveness from our sins by Christ's actions, our writing is liberated from its 'badness' by the acceptance and consideration from our peers. We look to these other writers and try to create standards based upon what they write about or how they write. Instead we should look to each others writing and be honest (both good and bad) and we should give our writings to each other in a similar fashion- expecting honesty and keeping an open mind about what others say. No matter how 'good' 'bad' or 'unchangeable' we feels our essays to be, lets be honest with one another and give each others opinions weight. If we are going to put so much stock into a person who cannot address our questions and desires specifically, why not rely more so on those who can reflect and comment on our writing specifically.


Dustin

Airports

DAL - Dallas Love Field

This airport is the smaller of the two in Dallas, and is one that I am not so much familiar with. Yet, I can always remember the time when in junior high that I got stuck there with no ride after getting back from seeing my grandparents in San Antonio. Fun stuff.

DFW - Dallas/Ft. Worth International Airport

I'll be going here tomorrow, or today, to catch a connecting flight from Minnesota back to Omaha. Odd, huh? Anytime I go back to Texas is somewhat of a stroll down the runway of my past. The airport itself isn't the special thing, it's the memories I have there. Sleeping there with my dad, trying to get a flight out of Orlando to get a car he bought on eBay, all of the goodbyes that I have said there, all of the random people who have come to pick me up at one point or another. It feels somewhat like home, but something in my head tells me it isn't.

LNK - Lincoln Municipal Airport

You're so convenient, yet so small and unreliable. I have yet to fly out of here without some sort of delay or cancellation. Too bad, seeing as it's a minute away from my house and has no lines, minus the ones at the customer service counter rebooking flights, of course.

MSP - Minneapolis/St. Paul International Airport

The second of my "goodbye" airports. When I was younger, my mom would always take me to the bookstore that they have beyond security so I could have something to read for my flights back to Texas. I still have most of those books to this day. Some are little outdated for my reading now, but being very sentimental, I can't let go of them without a fight.

OMA - Omaha Eppley Airfield

Nebraska. On my first trip up to see my dad after he had moved to Lincoln my senior year of high school, I remember getting off of my plane, and seeing my dad, who met with me a smile and these five words," Welcome to the good life." Enough said.

STL - Lambert St. Louis International Airport

The third "goodbye" airport. This place should remember me if I ever come back and visit. Growing up in St. Louis between two different families, this was always our destination for any vacations or trips in general. This was where I first started flying by myself, and only God knows how many flights I've taken out of there.

TPA - Tampa International Airport

This place screams relaxation. I always fly to Tampa to see my grandparents, where upon landing, you're greeted by friendly palm trees, a warm sun, and quite a few older people. I love visiting my grandparents, though. Them living in Florida makes it a lot easier to visit from time to time. Family is very important to me, so I doubt place would really matter, but it sure is a nice benefit :)

Austin

Alphabet Austen

Austen, Jane
One of my favorite authors, she manages to blend a didactic tone subtly with humor and sarcasm. Pride and Prejudice is considered one of the greatest loves stories by many. Although all her novels end with the union of two people in love, Austen herself never married.
Bingley
In the latest version of Pride and Prejudice (with Kiera Knightly) Bingley is amazingly sweet and awkward. His wavy red hair and cute smile combined with good acting made his scenes many of my favorite.
Cake
The father in Emma is unable to believe opinions differ at all from his own. Since cake disagrees with him he cannot believe it is enjoyed by anyone and strongly tries to talk a friend out of having any at her wedding/
Didactic
Teaching a moral lesson. Used in Jane Austen's novels.
Emma
The last of Austen's novels published during her lifetime
Favor
The word condescend infiltrates Austen's books often. When used by her characters they did not intend a negative connotation but instead were honored by a higher stationed person favoring them with their presence. Austen as the narrator seemed to be using it satirically.
Gwyneth Paltrow
Stars as Emma in Emma. Her following movie, Sliding Doors, I picked up every time I went to Blockbuster for years before finally renting it. It was no Austen.

Olivia Unruh

Altruism

Altruism
In evolutionary biology, an organism that behaves in a way that benefits other organisms, at a cost to itself. Success of altruism is measured in terms of reproductive fitness; therefore, an organism boosts the number of offspring other organisms might have and reduces the number of offspring it may produce itself.

Blue Jays
A baseball team in Toronto. Also a species of bird that will serve as a lookout to alert other jays of a nearby predator, at the expense and danger to itself. Will also avoid breeding in order to aid its parents in raising another brood.

Cellular Slime Molds
Protists that live individually as amoebae until they starve, then combining to form a multicellular body. To promote the survival of some cells in the multicellular body, some cells must sacrifice themseves.

Dogs
Man's best friend. Also known to adopt orphaned animals such as cats,squirrels, and ducks.

Dolphins
A primary cast member of "Flipper." Have been known to support injured dolphins of their own pod at the water's surface to breathe. Males sometimes help other males find a mate, not unlike a human "wingman."

Me
A twenty-year old female at Concordia University. Known to exhibit some pretty ridiculous behaviors on behalf of friends and family.

Termites
Wood-eating, destructive insects of the order Isopoda. Termites of the species Globitermes sulphureus exhibit a suicidal behavior against invaders. They rupture their body, secreting a sticky, defensive liquid which sticks to intruders.

Wolves
Large mammals that howl really well. They hunt together in packs to kill large animals such as deer and moose that they would be unable to vanquish separately. Together, they risk themselves for the good of the pack.

--AEM

Turn Right

I use to think that I could hold my own when it came to directions.  Give me a map and some landmarks and I could get there.  I found out today that I am mistaken.  This weekend I went to Kansas City to visit and meet up with my best friends from high school and I got lost...very lost.  I went from the Kansas side to the Missouri side and then back.  I even had Nancy the Navigator trying to help me out, but it turns out that she sucks and is unable to give helpful and timely directions.  So there I was in the middle of the city, wanting to lock my doors.  I was far from Seward, Nebraska where I sometimes leave my keys in the ignition.  So as I speed dial my friend, pull out a United States map, and try to drown out Nancy's "Make a U-turn if possible," I lock the doors.  

Nancy pulls through in the end and tells me to "Turn Right" and there it was my destination.  I learned that I take the familiarity of the Seward streets for granted and that if I am ever in the car with you, I should not be in charge of the directions.

Annmarie

Not My Weekly Blog

This is something I wrote awhile back, first to a friend through instant messanger and then I saved it on my computer. Just thought it was interesting.

What I learned from a squirrel:

I was walking to Weller...and a squirrel ran by....
And stopped at the base of a huge tree....
And just stayed there for a LONG time not moving at all.
I was like, weirdo. Why aren't you moving at all?
And then I walked more and saw that there was another squirrel around the tree.
And I thought, man, that'd be sweet. Squirrels can take the time to fully assess every situation before dashing away. They pause for a LONG time to consider and sense everything.
We're running running running all the time and we never slow down to assess all the possibilities....
Mostly because we feel that we have to keep running and running to keep up with the rest of the running world.
And I don't like this mentality. I know that there are places were time is viewed very differently.
I'd like to try out some of those places.

I am woman hear me roar

This is a little late, as usual. Submerged truth does not always follow deadlines, I've learned. And I'm okay with that. I think deadlines are stifling but oh so necessary.

Today the topic of discussion falls under the hairy-armpit territory of feminism (buck up, boys- I know you can handle it). I watched a completely demeaning movie tonight, about womanhood and the intricacies that lie therein. It was entitled, appropriately, The Women. Some of you have probably heard of it. Meg Ryan, Debra Messing, Jada Pinkett Smith, etc. Every person that appears in the movie is, in fact, a woman, extras and all. Bette Midler even made an appearance.

The acting was atrocious, which is depressing because I usually have a soft spot for Meg. Aside from this and the total predictability of the movie, the message was just dismal. It's a film made for women, expecting to empower them when in reality it just demeans them.

"You have to stop giving a shit about anybody. What do you want?" This is the life-changing advice given to down in the dumps Meg Ryan whose husband has just cheated on her with a young hottie.

And so of course, she turns her life around. She starts thinking about herself for a change, god dammit. And why shouldn't she? Isn't that womanhood? Discovering that we matter, that we are the most important people in our lives, that we are beautiful and successful and sexy because we say we are.

I don't how you all are going to take this post/rant, because to be honest with you, I'm probably a lot more of a feminist than most on this campus. But they've got it all wrong in this movie, and so many others and it makes me wonder- where have all the real women gone?

I'm going to go read Sylvia Plath- that should cheer me up.

KEW

Jesus "Deleted" Our Sins

So I was sitting in class the other day when the professor asked a girl a question about why Jesus came down to earth to die. We all knew the answer...to save us of course. However, when the girl provided her answer I couldn't help but laugh a little. She simply responded, "to delete our sins." There you have it...from the mouth of a millennial, Jesus "deleted" our sins. It was a perfect example of how emailing, instant messaging and texting has reshaped our vocabulary and language usage. When I think of the word "deleting" I think of: unneeded files on my computer, unflattering photos on my digital camera and unwanted text messages on my cell phone. All we have to do is simply click "delete" and they're all gone. However, when I think of the brutal death of our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ I do not necessarily think of it as him "deleting" our sins. It is something bigger than "deleting." It is about loving, dieing, and saving. The word "delete" has no passion or feeling behind it...it is simply a technological word with no human emotion directly tied to it. I wish we could keep some of this technological jargon from creeping into matters of far greater importance. I know, it's not a big deal. In fact, it's kind of funny. It is just important for us to choose our words carefully so the intended weight of our words is properly conveyed.

Carson Stokebrand

Patches

Sometimes men and their beards really make me laugh. But I'm not talking about the all out beards with hair all over the face and the look like they just got back from chopping some wood. I'm talking about the patchy beard. Tonight I saw one of these. Why do some men try to grow the beard even when they can't? This is just one of the many mysteries of the opposite sex that I have never understood.

Movies

What makes movies so good? What makes them be able to accrue millions or billions of dollars in ticket, DVD, and merchandising sales? I ponder this question a lot because so often I find myself hooked to the characters, setting, and to the plots of most movies that I watch.

My idea is that it is an escape from the real world. So many complain that their lives are boring and dull, yet, rarely are movies mundane. Even if the production is about a simple guy in a simple world, somehow, Hollywood manages to spice up the story. For an hour and a half or so, we are able to indulge ourselves into the lives of fake people and fake situations. We are able to look through the glass as a situation that we would normally have no chance of seeing unfolds before our eyes. We are able to forget about our routine lives and witness other, more exciting peoples' for a change. Sounds sort of pathetic, doesn't it? Almost...ironic. I think it is. It's ironic how something so unreal can be so real. How something completely unreal can be found to be so well related to. And how something so unreal can have such an emotional impact and connection on and with people. Incredible. Simply incredible.

Austin Beckman

What the heck is coming around the corner??

I'm not ready to graduate.

That sentence scares the crap out of me. I feel like no one can help me, either. I'm just stuck, trying to enjoy my last few months at Concordia and trying not to dread what comes after May 9. I don't have a plan. I have to just start looking in random places for random jobs in random places. I wish I'd been smart enough to pick a major that had something specific for me to do. I really wish I was a zoology or biology major so I could work with dolphins--or any kind of animal for that matter. I want an outside job in a beautiful location where I'm constantly working with and interacting with people and/or animals.

Then sometimes I think I want to be like Gernant or Zum Hofe. Teaching kids enthusiastically about English or Communication, at the college level, allowing them to think so freely. If I would ever follow in my mom's footsteps and become a teacher, these are the areas I would want to teach. (I realize that this and my last post seem like I'm sucking up to the professor--but just ask Emily. I can't/won't suck up. I just actually enjoy this--so I'm being honest.)

I'm about to graduate yet I'm still at the stage of my life where I envision myself doing everything and anything, not something.

I have no money. So I'm worried that in order to just be able to live immediately after college I'll have to move in with my mom. I love my mom, but I really don't want to do that.

My dream life is to live on some pretty island somewhere, maybe own some sort a shop: a bookstore, art store--something cool. And have a fairly flexible schedule, but definitely have afternoons/evenings off so I can lay in my hammock and catch up on my HUGE list of "books to read". Maybe I'll run around with my big dog or play with my turtle (both of which I have to get once I get to this island). I want to live in a bungalow. I don't want to wear shoes for the majority of the day and I want to be able to wear shorts or my swimsuit for the majority of the day.

Maybe I'll be a tour guide somewhere. I wouldn't mind being a tour guide for any interesting location: a National Park, a museum, a garden--anything.

I wonder if I can try something new every 4-5 years. I'm not concerned with making lots of money. I've been poor my whole life. I feel the pinch even more now. I live paycheck to paycheck, and that usually runs out the weekend it gets deposited into my bank account. I just want a life I love and to do something that makes me want to get out of bed almost every morning.

Oh, I'll run a bed & breakfast on this awesome island I live on.

Wandering aimlessly: Alicia

In all honesty I can't think of anything that sounds interesting. My birthday is in a couple of weeks and in talking to my brothers, one--if not both--of them is/are coming the weekend before to celebrate with me. Tim (who is two years older than me) called and said that he wants to come, and Paul (four years older) and I were speaking; anyway, he said that he could probably work it out to come also.
Nobody has any idea how happy that makes me. I shouldn't be saying this about them, but my brothers are my best friends. We've got that family thing, true, but I know that I can tell them anythng.


Becca

Always forgetting

And that was by me, Ann because I can never remember to sign my name.

Dooming Denistry

I hate going to the dentist, and I know that it hates me.  I am not one of those people who have mouths that are exclaimed over due to their perfect alignment, sparkling shine, and lack of cavities.  In fact, I could brush eight times a day and floss five, and there would still be cavities to be found when I sat down in the chair of doom.  It seems that my teeth are destined to hold unto all the sugar that it comes in contact with, immediately turning it into plaque that will eat away at my teeth.

This year there is something else that makes me dread going to the dentist...wisdom teeth.  The dentist knows they're there and needs to come out and my ability to postpone it is running out.  I can picture how it will happen: a long hallway leading to a white plastic chair.  A man with a white lab coat will come in a huge needle in hand.  My stomach will drop, hands clam up, and mouth go dry.  And then...ugh...i can't picture it past there.  I'll faint right here at my computer.

So when the time comes I can hope that they will completely knock me out with string drugs and I won't feel a thing...i hope.

Snow

There is one of the things I always discuss with my mom every time it snows. Neither of us understands why so many people hate snow. Every time, she says, "I only have good memories with snow." And that's how I feel. I don't understand the people who don't, especially those who come from places where it snows. Sure it's cold, and yes, it can make driving a little more of an adventure, but snow is so pretty. And I think it is better to see white on the ground rather than the dull, yell0w-brown of the grass.
I suppose it's the Colorado girl in me. The interesting thing is how different Colorado snow is from Nebraska snow. In Colorado, the first day it snows a couple inches and the next day the sun melts it away. Apparently snow here lasts most of the winter. But mostly, I remember rejoicing when the mountains got snow, because it meant more snowpack, and hopefully fuller rivers and reservoirs to quench the thirst of the summer droughts of previous years.
Or maybe it's the scientist in me. It seems that when people despise the snow, they don't think of the positive things it brings. I tend to think of the environment, how the trees and plants are getting insulated from the cold so they can come out of dormancy in the spring, and the moisture they need as the snow melts. And I think of how snow will fill the rivers so the farmers will have enough water to grow crops to provide for the rest of the country.
I think we're lucky when it snows. Eventually, every spring, I get tired of snow and just want warm weather. But for now, I see snow as a white confetti celebration of winter.
~Jessica

Between a Rock and a Hard Place

This week in class we have been talking a lot about the "hardness" of writing creative nonfiction. I thought a lot about what Dustin said when he questioned why creative nonfiction had to be "hard".  Then I started considering all of the essays we have read about writing. Writing is something that will not always come easily. In other words, good essays will not just flow from our brains to our hands to the keyboard. Good creative nonfiction is hard. Jessica brought up the question: What if we don't necessarily have anything bad or hard that has happened in our lives, are we just screwed when it comes to writing? I think the hard part of writing is probably not the topic choice but bringing out what you want to say from the topic. It's that one line that is hard hitting. It's hard to explain what makes good writing but it's easy to identify it. This is one of the unique characteristics, the tough truths of this type of writing.

Ordinary

As I prepare to find a topic for our second essays (due friday, by the way) I can't help feeling that my life is rather uneventful. While the writer should be able to say "my life is worthy of writing about", I honestly think it is rather not. This does not mean I think meanly of my value, only that I've had much the same experiences as others and can not seem to draw insights from the ordinary. I am sure this is my problem, that others are able to look at the small things and see how they molded them, are able to write a brillant essay on it. But this ability I do not posses.
I am afraid it will make this class very difficult.

Olivia

Wisdom Teeth

I hate going to the dentist, and it hates me.  I am not one of the people who have mouths that are exclaimed over for their perfect alignment, sparkling white teeth, and lack of cavities.  In fact I could brush eight times a day and floss five, and there would still be a cavity.  It seems that my teeth are destined to hold onto all sugar that it comes in contact with and then immediately turn into plaque that slowly eats away at my teeth.  So it goes I guess.

Most young children will gladly pronounce that they have had no cavities...i have had about nine.  When others ask, usually I'll lie. It's to the point of embarrassment now.  But I cannot lie about my wisdom teeth.  The dentist knows they're there, I know they're there and they are going to have to come out.  It's the horror stories that make my stomach drop, hands clammy up, and mouth go dry.  I can picture it now...they'll come in, white lab coats on with a huge needle ready to shove up my arm.   ughh...i can't think about it past there, I'm afraid I might faint.

So when the time comes I hope they completely knock me up with some hard drugs and that miraculously it won't hurt.  I hope.

The Naming Game

I was sitting in the cafe at Barnes and Noble this afternoon trying to find inspiration for our other writing assignment. I was able to write some, but honestly, there were too many distractions for me to really be able to write. So I just began observing. I noticed the people around me and caught bits and pieces of their conversations. Some of my friends and I like to play this game where you see strangers walking down the street or driving by and we pretend like we are old friends, and we begin talking about them. We give them names and start talking about their family, how their daughter recently made the honor role, their nephew ran away from home again, that sort of thing.

I began playing this game as I observed my fellow coffee drinkers. To my left were Maud, Henry and George. They were the loudest table. They could be heard above all else, especially Maud. They were old friends, who were meeting up for coffee and catching up on life. They were talking about politics, the trends of people moving from the country to town and the reason sugar just didn't melt in ice tea. The reason for it not melting has to do with the tea being cold, at least this is what Maud thinks. She is a very vocal woman. I believe she is a teacher, an 8th grade teacher. She stayed in her seat for a while after her male companions decided they needed to get back to their own homes to catch the basketball game.

To my right were Claire and Tom. They were speaking quietly to one another and pouring over books. From where I was sitting I couldn't tell what type of books they were. It was not until Claire took a phone call and I heard her talking about baby names that I knew they were expecting. Tom works for a technology company while Claire is thinking about leaving her job as an aid to pursue a marketing career. They have been married for two years already and are looking forward to starting their own family.

The person sitting to the table next to Claire and Tom is Phil. Phil is my favorite. He sat down with his large cup of coffee and about eight travel books. Phil is planning a trip to Europe. Among the places he would like to visit are Prague, Paris, and Amsterdam. He thumbs through the pages, intent on what he is reading. The image of him sitting alone at his table is ingrained in my mind. Phil wants to surprise his wife with this trip for their 30th anniversary, which is coming up soon. Sarah, his wife, has wanted to travel since she was young, but has not had the chance.

I don't know why I like playing this game, making things up about people. Maybe it is that I like to tell stories and they are my muses. It could be I'm just that weird, but don't we all do this to people we meet or see? It might not be to the extent of naming them, but we form judgments based on appearance, overheard conversations and the like.
I think I'm just weird.

-Rachel

Patience.

I love distractions and almost everything that comes with them. Except when they come in the middle of me actually being productive, then they aren’t quite as welcome. I’ve found that I’m not necessarily always a good listener either when the distractions come when I’m being productive. I find myself watching the clock instead of paying attention to what they’re saying. I feel bad for this, I feel like it’s inconsiderate, well I know it is inconsiderate. When I talk to someone, I want him or her to listen to me, so why can’t I take the time of day to listen to people sometimes? My impatience plays a large part in this problem… my impatience plays a large part in my life… I’m working on that skill, but who knows if I’ll ever accomplish that goal.
~Lindsay

Meditations on V-Day

In my twenty years of life, I've discovered that the general public has several conflicting views and emotions on the subject of Valentine's Day. There are those who have their certain someone and have made plans to do "something special." There are others who spend it alone, sometimes wallowing in self-pity, sometimes not even acknowledging it as a national holiday (in case you're wondering, I'm not agreeing or disagreeing with those behaviors--that's another story). Some spend it with their friends--these are girls I'm talking about--and embrace the "Guys--who needs 'em?" mentality. Others view it as another day that commercial America has taken ahold of to use for marketing purposes.

I've noticed that oftentimes we limit our "Valentine's Day love" to a spouse or significant other. I think it includes all of the important people in our lives--our families and friends as well as our boyfriend/girlfriend or spouse. I think that far too often our loved ones are taken for granted, and it's almost as if Valentine's Day is the day we all realize this--and quickly hurry to the store for choclates or roses to make it up to them. Valentine's Day doesn't require jewelry, floweres, candies or gifts; it's a time to spend with the important people in your life... and it shouldn't take a holiday to do this.

-Ashton

Form and Substance

I think there is a dilemma in writing, forensics, and our world in general. As stated in the title of this post, that dilemma is between form and substance. The idea that is currently in place is the only way that substance has any meaning or importance is if the information is in the proper form. It doesn't matter if you have an idea that would better the community, unless you provide the proper documentations and do the idea in the proper way, it is wrong and bad.

I feel this is the same way the writing world operates. Unless your ideas are put in the proper form, it isn't valuable. You can have a great insight into the human condition, but unless you use the right interactions (be they 'hard' or 'touching' or whatever) your insights don't matter.

I think when we do that we lose not only good ideas, but voices. We lose an ability to explain our world to others because if they do not accept the form, thus your voice falls on deaf ears. The loss of a voice is one of the saddest atrocities in existence. We lose a perspective on the world. It is having and sharing different perspectives that makes us human. It is why we can write an essay and be changed by it and change others; we offer something unique. Therefore, by silencing others, we are really slaying humanity. This is genocide. This is worse than Rwanda, worse than Sudan. This is worldwide and it is done through indifference.

Dustin Haider

Random Things Going On With Me

So I've been having a lot of weird dreams lately, which I guess isn't usually all that unusual with me, but usually they have ties to something from real life.
Two night ago I was attacked by an animated killer squid. The night before that I was playing ice hockey with my nemesis from grade school. We were on the same team, it was awkward. Last night had something to do with an army recruiter. What I'm saying is that usually there is something during the day that happens that will cause me to dream about this stuff but no, this is all completely random. Maybe it's cause I'm sick. I do have a fever so I'm sick with something, not surprising since if you read my last post you'll know my whole family was sick last weekend.
Apart from all this weirdness my brother-in-law got the administrative job at Sunderman so they're moving here from SD. Yay! They bought a house, which apparently used to be a prof's house, and they're all excited. I get the priviledge of helping them unpack and paint during my spring break since they are moving on the 7-8.
Today we're having a meeting and going over everything for our presentation Wednesday!! It's so exciting, Sara Holle, Anna Brack and Nikki Baker are in my group for Thurber's Shakespeare class. We're giving ours on Twelfth Night and have really fun ideas. We're basically picking out a bunch of scenes and acting them all out but there's always a major twist, kind of like Whose Line Is It Anyway, so if you're in the class you'll figure it out. Anyway, I'm the props master so I have to head out to Walmart sometime soon.
Birthday plans still not finalized, this Thursday should be interesting. I'm going out with my siblings to Lazlo's but that's as far as we've thought things through. We should probably work on that.

Valentine's Day

I wanted to write a bit about Valentine's Day. First of all, I know that a lot of people get very touchy about Valentine's Day. Some think its a lovely holiday where you can celebrate your love for one another. Others think that it is a made up holiday to help Hallmark make a few extra bucks. I think that I am somewhere in between. On the fence, shall we say?

While I don't mind in any way getting flowers and candy and getting all dressed up and having a romantic evening with a boy... this year, for the first time in a couple years, I didn't have a male counterpart to dote on. So I got to spend time with friends.

What a wonderful day! I went to the movies and had a lovely meal with my best friend, I went to the girls' basketball game, I watched a couple movies with friends... I had so much fun. It just seemed to show me, once again, how wonderful my friends are and how much fun they are.

It sometimes strikes me as odd that people hate single-dom so much. I am personally enjoying it very much and don't think I would have it any other way at this point in my life. So, to all of you single people who thought Valentine's Day was the worst day of 2009, so far, I think you should lighten up. Maybe there wasn't someone out there to be romantic with on Valentine's Day... but, it is a day about Love and I know that I LOVE all the people I saw and all the things I did yesterday. So, I would call it a successful Valentine's Day.

Who Reads These?

Out of all the posts I've done so far, I haven't received a single comment. It's not that I thrive on comments or anything, but it makes me curious who out of our class actually takes time to read what is posted [besides LZH, of course]. What really made me curious about this is one of the last blogs I posted asked for feedback and received none. No one even made a comment to me about away from Blogger. So, here's my challenge...don't worry, it's a simple one:

Leave me a comment saying that you actually read this.

Even better, leave me a comment admitting to how much you actually pay attention to everyone else's posts. It would feel a little irrelevant to post anything meaningful on here if the only purpose was to receive a grade. Don't get me wrong, I like doing this for a grade, but if there isn't any more purpose than that for these blogs then I may very well just churn out something quick and mindless each week for my points.

-Josh


PS: As a reward for participating in this, here's a random video:

Garlic Toast

I have a love affair with garlic toast. I don't like it cheesy (most of the time) and I usually like it the way I make it myself. Regular bread, melted butter and garlic powder, in a 400 degree oven until it smells right.

Tonight I made it for myself, accompaniment to a bowl of soup. I was running around, doing other things, while the two slices sat in my oven. This running around, doing other things, usually gets me in trouble. I'm infamous in my family for burning things in the oven, simply because other things in life get my attention. I have always refused to set a timer, because I believe I know that when I smell the smell, I'll know it's done.

Tonight was not a night of distraction. The smell was right and I opened the oven door. I don't know that I've mentioned my failure to use cookie sheets, pans, etc. The bread goes in right on the oven rack. I leaned over to get the toast and reached in to grab the toast. I had to grasp the edges a few times. The toast for apparent reasons was hot. So I kept touching it and then whipping my hand backwards, touching it and whipping my hand backwards, as if the quick motion would make it less hot. It didn't. But I got the toast out of the oven, sans potholders, and dropped it onto the top of the stove.

Of course, as I sat down with my bowl of soup and garlic toast, a metaphor came to mind. I know how I probably sounded today, like I was ready to hook up the bungee cord and fling you off the small step on the edge of the bridge to nowhere. But I have to push right now. This is the time where you get frustrated with me and the frustration leads somewhere. Not nowhere. This is the time where you get unhappy because you have so many other deadlines and to sit down and write seems nearly impossible. Not impossible.

So maybe we're not ready to jump. Maybe we just need to touch the toast and feel the heat. Maybe we need to keep grabbing at it and try to grasp hold, even though we know it could include pain or scaly dragons or evil stepmothers with black capes and green eye shadow. Can you try? Can you just touch the toast once? Can you feel the burn a little? You don't have to achieve a first degree burn. Just try. That's all I ask. Try until it smells right. You'll know.

~LZH

my sweet addiction

I have a confession to make. This is so hard for me to say because I've held it in for so long. I have an addiction...to Cadbury Creme Eggs.

When I see those little 50 cent chocolatey, sugary little snacks, I go crazy. I love this time of year. The snow is melting (I say that now but watch it snow tomorrow), the flowers will bloom in a couple months, and Cadbury eggs have hit the stores.

I eat these little guys like a 5-year-old. I bite into its chocolate shell and scoop out the filling. As the filling sits on my finger (I have to constantly move my finger so I don't lose any on the floor) I munch on the chocolate. When I am finished with that I let the goop sink into my mouth like honey. My mother would be so proud.

Since this is only a seasonal candy I save them throughout the year, but nothing beats a fresh Cadbury. I'm still trying to devise a plan to have them sold throughout the year. So far the best lead I have is from my brother. He traveled to England a couple years ago and told me that the eggs are sold all year there. I think I can just convince the Hershey company (who has the rights in the U.S. to the eggs) to not let the British candy company look better than us. The Americans have done it again.

~WAS

This is a little late. But, better to blog late than to blog not at all, as I always say. From reading several posts, it appears to me that the semester is starting to rear its ugly head and bare its gnarly teeth while laughing at our unhappiness- my apologies to all those pained by its complete disregard for feeling. I am affected by your words of stress, loneliness, sorrow, agitation, etc.

I adore music- I am aware that not all share my intense love of it (even if I don't really understand why...), but I want to post this link because this song soothes me to the core. It is called "Air and Simple Gifts", a title worth pondering I think. It was composed by John Williams for the inauguration of Barack Obama, and even if you are not on team Obama, I think you can find the heart to enjoy the beauty of the song.

I do hope you like this. I am thinking of all of you.

KEW

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=02Ao9jyq5Vk

Procrastination

I don't quite understand why, but I think it is nearly physically impossible for me do any assignment much in advance before it is due. I think it might be the lack of motivation. If I know there is no looming deadline that I'm up against, I have little inspiration to get the work done. As I think about this more, I think this might be derived from the style that I have always lived my life. I am the definition of a busy body and have been since as long as I can remember. When I was younger I did tap dance, volleyball, soccer, basketball, swim team, golf lessons and softball, and most of them overlapped. I hate not being busy. In fact, I function much better when I have little free time. I have found over the years that when I am given too much spare time, I tend to get absolutely nothing done, while on the other hand, if I am extremely pressed for time, I get so much accomplished! I don't know when I became this way, or when I became such a procrastinator, but until the day comes when I don't get an assignment done or a good grade because I put it off for too long, I will continue to live this way and love it. Afterall, life is short, why not fill with as much as you can?

-Shelley

I heart you

There is a package in my mail box.  Of course though, it's Sunday and the mail has decided to be unavailable.  So I'm staring at this white piece of paper exclaiming that I have received a package from Ballwin, Missouri and I am unable to retrieve it.  

I always excited when I got mail: a card from a friend, a post-it note form my RA, even the memo's from student senate are nice.  But a package puts them all to shame.  I know that you can't put a price on love, but if you could it would be $8.10.  That's how much it usually costs for a package to be sent from home to here.  This package represents the fact that I am missed and that I am loved even when I am so far away.  So I love this package and the little white slip that exclaims I have one.  

But of course back to the main point, I can't get to it.  It seems like today I will be focusing on being patient, the fruit of the spirit I have trouble with the most.  I can never be patient enough.  I prefer when things are done immediately, so Sunday is going to be especially long today.  I'll have to wait till the mail room opens to receive the package that will have words and pictures drawn across the outside, to open the box that will have candy and Valentines day stickers, and to read the card that will end with "I heart you" from my family.  But I can be patient.  I can wait.  I can hold out.

Does anyone know how to pick a lock?

[empty]

I don't have anything to say here.

I wish I could have ended this blog like that.

It's not that I am boring or out of material. I've had an eventful weekend. It's not that.

I just don't want to.

Have you ever felt so apathetic? I find it funny that taking out the "a" turns the word into pathetic.

Speaking of pathetic... (I knew if I just typed long enough something would come out)... I am feeling hopeless. My best friend from high school, Megan, just found out that her dad has lung cancer and has at best 1-2 years left.

Talk about having the rug ripped out from under you. My stomach just drops when I think about it. And he's not even my dad.

I feel helpless. Megan calls me at least three times a week in hysterics. With new, unanswerable questions. Who will walk her down the aisle if her dad dies? Who will she talk to when she's had a hard day? How can her mother and sister ever live without their rock, their father? How will she be strong enough?

I feel like a jerk when my head is asking, "How will I be strong enough to help her through this..." I mean, what do I say? How do you comfort someone who is potentially going to lose one of their best friends and most influential characters in two years.

And that's best case scenario.

Time seems so long to most. Suddenly it seems so short.

-emily

Daschund Depression

Okay, so I hate to be a Debbie Downer and write about a depression-related topic again, but I feel the need to do so anyway.

My dog is depressed. That sounds stupid but it's kind of true.

My mother called me the other night and began the phone conversation with "Sadie's not well." I thought oh great, her back legs gave out again. Twice in the past her back legs quit working and she's had to drag her little body around using only her front two paws...it's the saddest sight I've ever seen. Actually, it's quite common for daschunds to have back-related problems since they're so long.

Anyways, my mother said that there was no noticeably physical reason for Sadie's behavior. She said that she just lays around moaning and whimpering all the time. She gets around fine, but she's just not her usual self. I thought maybe it might just be that's she's slowing down because of her age. We also thought that it might be because she's fat for a dog her size. She's a miniature daschund, but there's nothing miniature about her. Metaphorically speaking, she's supposed to be a cocktail weenie, but is rather the size of a jumbo-sized, cheese-filled Johnsonville Brat.

My mother brought Sadie to my grandparent's house here in Seward so that I could see her. After spending some time with her I'm convinced that her problem is psychological. When I first got her seven years ago I was told not to "baby her" too much because daschunds can occasionally become depressed if talked to in a certain way. I'm thinking that perhaps my mother has been babying her a bit too much and now she's an insecure little pup.

So I don't know what to do. I feel like a bad owner...I let my dog develop depression. Perhaps I should take her to the vet and get her some canine-Zanex. Poor dog.

Bad Things....

Bad things have been happening to those around me.  One of my roommates got the stomach flu.  Another of my roommate's car got hit by a student in the parking lot where she is student teaching.  This same roommate's car started smoking the next day while she was driving on her way to school.  She had to take it in and now has to pay hundreds of dollars to get it fixed.  The third roommate got a cold and developed pink eye, opps, I mean conjunctivitis.  Because, you know there is a difference and it must be known that this was NOT "pink eye".  This was not the end of my pink-eyed roommate's problems.  She also found out this week that her debit card number had been compromised.  This caused her to have to run around crazily figuring out her banking situation.  Another one of my close friends was at her house, bending over, when she ripped the crotch in her jeans.  I did not see this personally, but I have been told it was an interesting sight!

Nothing has happened to me.  My split-jeans friend said I should be careful.  My pink-eyed roommate's boyfriend said I was next.  Usually I am not a very superstitious person, but I'll tell you after he cautioned me, I double checked each direction before pulling out onto the street!  I also made sure not to drive over the speed limit.  

I have learned to remove myself from situations and find the humor.  I have found this to help in stressful times.  I ask myself, "What's funny about this?"  or I think about how in 10 years I am going to laugh about the things that are giving me stress in my life because in 10 years it won't matter.  I try to tell those inflicted by this string of bad events to just laugh about it, but they just give me looks, looks of disgust and annoyance.  I think I need to learn to keep the humor to myself.

(Rachel)

Ethanol to Butanol

All I have to do is add two carbons to the chain of an ethanol. Yes, this simple task will most likely take five or six steps but I can only seem to figure out one step in multiple directions, trying different approaches. After two hours of organic chemistry and one on this specific problem, I'm afraid frustrated, angry tears are going to start leaking out of my sleep deprived eyes. Or that I'll freak out and tear up my take home quiz. Which would not be good. After numerous failed attempts, the knowledge that I can not complete this task is derailing me and I choose to take the path of least resistance to my pessimistic thoughts. I will fail my test on Friday. I will fail the class. I will not be able to get into pharmacy school next year with out it. I will drop out of school and adopt every stray cat in sight.

Two carbons stand between me and my future.

Strange Siting

I had a dream about a week ago, in which I saw a rather large tabby cat. I told my friend, who told her sister that I saw a big cat. The sister, in turn, told all of her friends that I saw a cougar, a puma, a mountain lion ... and so on. Somebody then heard that I saw a real lion and called animal control, which brought in a team of experts to "handle the situation." They took me in for questioning and asked, "Ma'am, I hear that you saw a lion. Can you describe his whereabouts?"
"Uh," I said, "I didn't see a lion; only an unusually large tabby."
Then I wok up.
That dream, I think, was speaking about the power of language and its (language's) influence over people's thought and beliefs. This first came to my attention when I followed the debates and has continued ever since: the language thing, not the dreams. People blow everything out of proportion when it comes to rumors, because gossip has proven itself worthwhile.
What is it that does this to us, to be informants--always on the "D-L" than anything else? I like information just as anyone else, but where is the line drawn between the good and the destructive?


Becca

Healing Weather

I am from Wisconsin and I am not used to these days that we are having. Never in my life have I had numerous 50 degree days in a row in February. I think it is so interesting how my mood is lifted and my spirit is high when I step outside into the weather that I would have considered chilly a number of months ago. I am used to tensing up my shoulders and gritting my teeth when I step through the door. I enjoy the beauty of winter, from a window. What makes it worse is having to run at track practice outside, everyday, no matter the temperature or wind chill. February in Nebraska has impressed me this 2009. When I step outside into the above freezing weather I feel healed, I feel relaxed and I am ready to face the many challenges that I have outside of the weather. I don't really know why I am writing this, the second I press post the weather will drop. Oh well...

Hannah Ferry

Nebraska beauty

If there's one thing I've gotten really tired of hearing, it would be the description of Nebraska as boring and all that it has is cornfields. Perhaps this comes from people who have lost the ability to enjoy what is around them; namely, nature and what intersperses the cornfields.
You are probably surprised to hear this coming from a Colorado native. Now there's a state where the beauty is right there, reaching towards the sky in the form of the Rocky Mountains. The evergreen trees keep nature in a state of constant color, mixing the green lodgepole pines with the blue of the blue spruces, and the grass color is compatible with the trees anytime of the year. The aspens in the fall bring gold to the forest. Colorado is a beautiful state.
But so is Nebraska. The beauty just isn't as obvious, and it's not necessarily as breathtaking or stunning. But there is something amazing about the way the wind blows over the orange-yellow prairie grasses in the fall, creating a wave in a sea of grain (I admit, that isn't original). And the goldenrods, sunflowers, and liatris bring color to the prairie. Even in the midst of winter, the grasses still are yellow, brown, and red over the rolling hills in this eastern portion of the state.
I still love the mountains I grew up viewing every day, but I have also learned to appreciate the beauty of the prairie. I wish and hope that others could see this, too.
~Jessica

Too many double meanings

I just realized the other day how in our every day conversations, we often have to clarify the meaning of our words. "I don't mean that in a ______ way. I meant this....etc." It gets really old to me. Sometimes I think people even know what you are really trying to say, but their minds tend to morph harmless everyday phrases into something completely opposite. I wonder how long it's been this way. How long have we been confusing each other's words? Something tells me this isn't a trend that just started. Our language has so many different homophones and second and third and fourth definitions of words that it is very, very hard to always understand completely. Then again, I feel that, alot of times, we tend to complicate things naturally. We play a large role in the confusion. It seems like it was simpler when we were kids. It's funny how the words of a child can be simple, yet the thought there is so meaningful. Likewise, it's funny how the words of adults, the words that we speak, can be so complex, yet so meaningless.

Austin B.

Lessons

I’m one that the second my head hits the pillow at night, I’m out… I’m a heavy sleeper, can sleep through almost anything, including my alarm at times. The other night I couldn’t sleep, and I was exhausted. I had only gotten 3 hours of sleep the night before and I was tired, but I couldn’t sleep. I’m also stubborn, especially when it comes to lessons God’s trying to teach me. Once I’ve learned the lesson, I’m content, but learning that lesson, isn’t easy, especially if I can’t really tell what he’s trying to teach me until after I’ve learned it. In the midst of my not being able to sleep the other night, my stubbornness had to give in... I was trying to do everything by myself because I like control… and I needed His help, and since then, my life has been a little easier…
~Lindsay

The Prejudice Problem

While going to church this morning, NPR played a story about a Native American rights activist found here: http://www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=100393116

It got me thinking about how prejudiced we are against other groups. I think a lot of it is that we set expectations for people, but don't tell them. Then we get angry when the someone from the group doesn't meet the expectation. While I guess we could go around telling everyone belonging to various groups what we expect of them, it isn't very efficient or likely that we would reach everyone. Therefore, I think instead of holding these high standards for others, we should be more tolerant of others.

We need to try to see things from another point of view. We look at things from our perspective, and only our perspective and think we have things figured out, but we don't even try to look at it another way. This morning I was thinking how silly it was that this individual on the radio was demanding more money be apportioned to the Native Americans (and only the Native Americans). Now, as I look back, maybe there is something to say about it, maybe our stimulus money would be better spent by trying to help a variety of groups rather than being beholden to one group's interests.

And while I am obviously needing to do this, the activist needs to too; we all do. We all need to try to look at things from a different perspective, if we don't, we fall into the same trap that tells us we are right and other people are wrong. When we get too entrenched in one way of looking at the world, the colors drain away into black and white. But, if we keep trying to view things differently, we see the world in it's greens, and reds, and blues; and the whites and blacks become shades within the colors.

Dustin Haider