A Concordia Walk with a Crazy Cat Lady

Many people come to Concordia and leave married or engaged. Everyone knows multiple people for whom this is true. Everyone is dating, so many egagements happen every break. I know it's true.

However, from my point of view, this isn't always the case. Most of my closest friends are all currently single (a few have recently started dating). Not only are most of them single, but they've BEEN single for a LONG time. Personally, I've been single since the day I was born.

I don't think there's anything wrong with being single. I'm used to it. I really appreciate my friends being single while I'm single. It's when my closest friends get significant others that being single hurts. I get lonely.

But the problem from my point of view and with the singleness of my friends is that so many ladies are getting walked all over by males. I have a lot of male friends and single male friends--and I'll admit I don't know if women walk all over them. I do know of a variety of females who have been treated poorly by guys in college. It's like an epidemic. I'm included in this list. At one point many of my friends and I (males and females alike) thought I was certainly on my way to couplehood and then BAM! Single, as usual.

I think it's because of that problem talked about in the Bible. Genesis 3:16 says "To the woman he said, 'I will greatly increase your pains in childbearing; with pain you will give birth to children. Your desire will be for your husband, and he will rule over you.'" This was God cursing women. It's not saying we're going to be part of great love stories. It's saying that we will desire our husbands and he'll focus on toiling in the land. Women are cursed and I see this played out all the time. Females give themselves willingly to a guy and he takes advantage of that. Most of the guys "don't know what they want" so they toy with the girl for awhile (my case, as well as friends). I don't know how to articulate my frustration except to say this sucks.

The worst part about this whole deal, well, second worst, after being treated like crap by some guy, is being willing to give that guy a second chance, or pine for him, or still like him...anything in that family. That's terrible. Why is it that women do this? Lack of confidence? Lack of willpower? I just can't figure out why.

Either guys need to be more sensitive to our feelings and realize that we throw ourselves in probably too enthusiastically or we need to become cold, hard bitches. I constantly wish I could have that cold attitude that males have; the ability to just put no emotion into any of it. I wish I could shamelessly flirt with anyone without a care in the world about if they might fall for me or not. I don't know how to solve this issue. I'd really rather be a happy, warm person rather than a cold, hard bitch. Really. I just need to find some balance I guess.

Disclaimer: I'm not a crazy psycho that no one wants to date. Really. :) I'm also not ranting because I'm single. I'd rather be single than be jerked around by, well, some jerk.

I'm just tired of seeing my great friends get dragged around by douchebags. I also don't want it to ever happen to me again. Once is enough, thanks.

Guys, just be gentle with female hearts. We seem to care a lot.

Ladies, don't fall so quickly, if at all possible.

That's it for now, I suppose, now that I've totally exposed my crazy side.
Crazy cat lady, Alicia

PS: This just adds to my personal belief that it's easier and better to be male. So annoying.
PPS: I just remembered that Valentine's Day is in a week! Good time for this rant, I guess.

Insert Creative Title Here

Everyone in my family is sick. I'm sitting outside with my laptop (and two lazy cats pacing back and forth in front of me waiting for me to let them back inside) avoiding all the madness. Actually, it's not madness, it's more laying on the couch and asking for things. I'm not feeling the greatest either so I guess the fresh air will do me some good.
As I sit here I think about what I should be doing instead. I have a paper due for Mira on Monday that I haven't started, I have to read 2 acts of Romeo and Juliet for Thurber, I could be reading drafts of my fellow Creative Non-Fiction students, but instead I've decided to sit out here, doing nothing. It's relaxing, and really nice out.
My birthday is in a few weeks. I'll be 21, yay?! Everyone is all excited it seems and they all want to be a part of it. I'm really not a big fan of birthdays so it seems like I'm just along for the ride. They've decided we're going to Lazlo's on Thursday then Tico's on the weekend, then I guess we're going to have a karaoke party - or Carrieoke party as it's usually called Coryoke since he always hosts them - sometime that weekend as well. It's like this because I have a lot of different groups of friends and since everyone feels that they must be involved but they don't all know each other or get along I'm forced to have multiple parties. I really don't do birthdays and I know I should be excited for this one since it's kind of a landmark or whatever but apparently I have no choice in the matter. You would think that since this makes me officially an adult that I would have some say, but no. I got hosed. I have to fake excitement on multiple occasions as people make me sing and blow out candles then try and get me drunk. Have I mentioned how much I love birthdays. The drinking won't be so bad, it's the constant singing that bothers me.
We have this thing in our church now where they sing to the people whose birthdays are during the week, after the service. It's messed up. You don't sing Happy Birthday in a church, that's just not right. I always try to avoid the Sundays around my birthday but since my mother is all Queen of Ladies Aid - I can never remember the word 'President' so I labeled her Queen once and it stuck and caught on, now she hates me for it, then my dad was elected Chairman of the church so now apparently I'm the princess, shoot me in the face - the Sunday that I do show up, may it be weeks afterward, she still makes them sing. It's frustrating but my brother does the same thing that I do. I'm glad I'm not alone in the matter.
Wow, this is really long and you've probably given up reading this by now anyway, I tend to ramble when I'm in this kind of mindset so I'm gonna stop rambling here and go ramble somewhere else.
-CK

Four Deaths in Six Months

It seems that my junior year in college is destined to be remembered as the year of death.

Last semester, an uncle, a close family friend, and my only surviving grandfather all passed away within the first month's worth of classes. The rest of 2008 just seemed to drag after that. I had hit burnout in all my classes before my classes had a chance to become stressful. By December, I was ready to start the new year and a new semester. I just wanted to leave all that stress behind.

As of a few hours ago, I've discovered that the stress has followed me into 2009.

The first month went well enough. I started to get a hang of my new classes, was given the opportunity to direct two plays for the one acts this semester, and things just seemed to be going smoothly. Then after returning home after a stressful drive, which I will opt to not go into, I got an e-mail from my father. My great aunt Pauline passed away. I wasn't close to her, which is unfortunate because I kind of wish I was. I'd met her a handful of times and I've never really heard a bad thing said about her. What makes her death especially stressful on me is that it is the second death in five months that hits my father's side of the family especially hard. I worry about my grandmother, who in that time has lost her husband and a sister, and my father, who has lost his father and an aunt. Out of my parents and I, I'm not sure who has suffered the most. Neither one of them shows any emotion about any death away from funerals [I never even saw my father shed a tear or blow his nose at his father's funeral, even though I know he was very close to him]. All I do is bottle the emotions up once I have a grasp on them and move on, only to emotionally implode from them when given the right trigger.

For me, this is the forth death in a six month period of someone I knew and cared about. Each one has hit me hard emotionally in one way or another. After my grandfather's death, the last of the three last year, my mother told me the tale that death happens in threes. Now I'm left wondering if there's two more to die soon and how soon they may be.

I won't be making Pauline's funeral, unfortunately. My father already told me he didn't expect me to be able to, and he's right. My classes themselves aren't what's keeping me. The auditions for the one acts are Tuesday and that's most likely when the funeral will be. The two plays I'm directing this semester are the biggest thing that is keeping me going right now, and because of that their priority with me is extremely high. I'd like to make the funeral, but I have responsibilities here that I need to attend to. Besides, my family isn't expecting me to be able to make it and so I'm not letting anyone down. I'm just tired of death, and the people who keep me going the most are my friends.

-Josh

B+

I am now a "blood buddy". Sounds morbid, right? It's not. It is simply Ann's way of stating the new bond we share since she held my hand this morning and distracted me with tales of skiing while I gave blood for the first time. (I still feel the term is not quite true until I've helped her through her first time). I saved (potentially) three lives through my seven minute act, at least that's what they told me. When I think of how many seven minute blocks I waste, I'm really glad I donated.

I first went into the Cattle Conference Room, thinking I might be anemic because I don't get much iron on a daily basis, which would relieve me from the guilt of not giving. I would have tried, and failed not because of my fear but because of my inadequate blood. Great. However, my blood sunk in the iron test solution faster than I would have imagined, indicating that I'm anything but deficient in iron. I was already in the back of the room, behind the partition and there was no option (well, mostly no option) of retreat. So I let them lead me to a blue plastic recliner with the single armrest and prepare my arm for the ordeal, while I glared at where Ann was sitting, hoping she'd get the message, stop doing homework and come comfort me. Which she did.

I spent seven minutes with the needle in my arm. For my efforts I got snacks and a tee-shirt. For Ann's seven minute monolgue she also got a shirt. And now we are "blood buddies".

Olivia Unruh

Mood Music

Driving to class today I took notice of the type of music I was listening. Maybe it's just me, but music for me is a big form of self-expression. Not that I actually create music, but I always have to listen to music that matches my mood. One glance at my playlist on my iPod and you would find all different kinds of music and songs that are assorted by topic and genre. I have my hip hop music for when I'm trying to get pumped for a game, or slow steady music for studying, I even have a playlist for the pool or beach when I just want to relax. Not only do I pay close attention the type of genre of music, but I am one of those people who pay extremely close attention to lyrics as well. I love songs where I can relate to what the artist is saying or feel passionate about the message they are trying to convey. It's interesting to think how theraputic something as simple as a song can be.
-Shelley

CIT

I know I probably am speaking the obvious, but I enjoyed CIT this year. I had never before attended this mass phenomena, but it was worth it. Even when I went to buy my wristband I kept thinking, 'I can't believe I'm spending twelve dollars for basketball.' But in the end, it turned out to be more than just basketball. Sitting (well, standing, actually) in the crowd, I could feel the entire sense of unity around me. Unity for a cause, Concordia Seward. I don't really know any of the players on the basketball team. But they represent our campus, and I have a high respect for what they do; it's a difficult task.
I may never attend another CIT, as life becomes busy and my career takes over where my college life ends. But what God has blessed us with at Concordia will not be taken away. We have learned to be leaders in a sinful world here and stand together against the devil. May we take that with us when we graduate to use for all our lives.
~Jessica

Trying to capture an experience using words is much more of a challenge than I thought it would be. When I sat down to write my first essay for class, I knew what I wanted to write about, but creatively expressing the experience did not come so easily. No matter how many attempts I made, I still feel as though I could not properly convey this experience from my life and how impacting it was for me. It is somewhat of a disappointment for me to read it and know that it is only a slice of what I wanted my audience to get from it. Trying to allow an audience to get inside my mind and be able to see this experience from my perspective was very frustrating for me as I wrote this paper and I feel as though it is a failed attempt.

-Shelley