It's that long-awaited first break of the semester. The plans of finally catching up on homework and sleep have been occupying your thoughts when you are still awake at 3 a.m., just starting to read about gender theory. Even though it's merely a few hours until you must awake and drag your feet into class you must finish.
Or do you?
Wouldn't it just be nice to crawl into bed under the warm blankets and rest your weary head on a soft pillow and drift into gender-theory-free dreams? After all, you'll have more time come Saturday morning after a wondrous morning of sleeping until noon...
Or will you?
Sunday, March 1, 2009
Unexpected Connections
I know this is my second post in a one-post period, but I feel its an important one to make concerning this class. LZH, feel free to count this one for next week, even though I'll probably do another one at the end of the week.
I like it when people take off their masks and reveal who they are, what they've gone through in life, and are true to themselves and me. This doesn't always lead me to like the person, and sometimes it makes me like the person even less because of how they tell their story. However, it allows me to connect with them on a level that makes me realize how alone we really aren't.
This came to my mind now because of a few essays written by some of my classmates I had to read for class today. Something I had to do became something I was glad to have done. I connected with each one of their essays, each one telling stories I could relate to on a very personal level. I shared something with all of them, people I've known for awhile but never really interacted with. After reading their essays, I wish I had gotten to know them better in the time I've known them...even become good friends with them. What was strange to me was that while all their topics dealt with family and self in some manner, they all had different issues that separated them...but I felt extremely connected with all of them because I had been through many of the same things. I won't name the people or issues for the sake of their privacy, and therefore I won't go into how I connected with them specifically. Their writings have inspired me to explore my own issues in writing soon. Honestly, I'd like to do it now, but other responsibilities concerning college life hold me back from it now. When I do, I will share it. I don't expect ya'll to read it all, or even any of it, but I need to tell it all in one piece and just knowing its out there for people to read will be therapeudic.
Its a good feeling when you find and appreciate the benefits of a class. I haven't really had that feeling in a very long time.
-Josh
I like it when people take off their masks and reveal who they are, what they've gone through in life, and are true to themselves and me. This doesn't always lead me to like the person, and sometimes it makes me like the person even less because of how they tell their story. However, it allows me to connect with them on a level that makes me realize how alone we really aren't.
This came to my mind now because of a few essays written by some of my classmates I had to read for class today. Something I had to do became something I was glad to have done. I connected with each one of their essays, each one telling stories I could relate to on a very personal level. I shared something with all of them, people I've known for awhile but never really interacted with. After reading their essays, I wish I had gotten to know them better in the time I've known them...even become good friends with them. What was strange to me was that while all their topics dealt with family and self in some manner, they all had different issues that separated them...but I felt extremely connected with all of them because I had been through many of the same things. I won't name the people or issues for the sake of their privacy, and therefore I won't go into how I connected with them specifically. Their writings have inspired me to explore my own issues in writing soon. Honestly, I'd like to do it now, but other responsibilities concerning college life hold me back from it now. When I do, I will share it. I don't expect ya'll to read it all, or even any of it, but I need to tell it all in one piece and just knowing its out there for people to read will be therapeudic.
Its a good feeling when you find and appreciate the benefits of a class. I haven't really had that feeling in a very long time.
-Josh
Wild Wild West
This title has nothing to do with my blog. It's just the song I'm listening to. :)
I have conflicting feelings at the moment. They're about a lot of things, but the biggest conflict is time. I'm really excited about Spring Break now that I have awesome plans and money to fulfill these plans (in Florida!!) but it means that when we get back the semester is half over. Seeing as how I have no post-graduation plans and that I'm not ready to leave all my friends, I'm dreading it. The worst part, honestly, will be the fact that my friends will be all spread out. I'll still have quite a few staying at Concordia (either for a 5th year or because they're underclassmen), and the others graduating with me will be spreading out all over the world. I love having everyone within a 2 mile radius of where I live. I've come to appreciate small-town life--which I never thought would happen. I live in a bigger city and I always thought that was where I was meant to be--in the cities. After almost four years here, I've realized that it's the people that make it awesome. Who cares where you live as long as you have great people to be with?
I shouldn't be worried. I'm a social person. I make friends easily. Every year at Concordia I've made new friends and hung out with a huge variety of people. Even this year, I'm constantly making new friends and finding new people to be with. I just love my Concordia family more than anything in the world. And I'm afraid of losing contact with people here. I know that we can try to keep in touch. I'm pretty good and keeping relationships with people long-distance...but it never fails that our relationship just is never the same. We talk--but there are huge gaps between when we talk. We visit--but there are even bigger gaps between visits. It's not the same as living near each other and communicating constantly. The transition from high school/home to college was so easy. I was very scared then, though. I know I can survive this next transition. I just know that Concordia is the best place I've ever been/lived and why change something that's so great?
It's weird that I have these feelings. It makes me sound like I'm not ready to "grow up", and in a sense, I'm not. But I've been mature for most of my life. I'm the kid in my family who grew up the fastest and took care of my responsibilities. I feel like now I'm reverting. I want the carefree life of a teenager. I don't want a stuffy 9-5 job where I'm indoors, stuck under fluorescent lights all day, then I trudge back to my home to my cats, tired because of the lameness of my job. I want a life where I'm out and about all day, meeting people, building relationships, enjoying the beauty of the outdoors.
This is a topic I keep coming back to...but it's because it's the biggest thing in my life at the moment. What I'm failing to do and why this makes my stomach churn when I think about it is because I'm not putting it into God's hands. I always forget that he has a plan and he won't let my life become dull or utterly miserable if I follow His will.
But what in the world is his will?? Have I missed it already? How does he let me know what it is? Text messaging? Highly doubtful. What if I've already screwed it up because I've wasted any little talent that he gave me to strive toward my goals?? I should have tried harder at my academics in college. I should have focused more on my faith and building it up instead of ignoring it and doubting it. I should have had a job since freshman year and been saving so I'm not cast to the streets because I'm too poor upon graduation.
I shouldn't have been lazy in my academics. This is my major college regret. I started out in college as a Biology major because I wanted to be a veterinarian or work in a zoo or train dolphins (most of which I still want to do!) but I took General Chemistry my freshman year. I got a C-, it was a four-credit class, took lots of work, and I did the minimum. Because of this low grade, and another in another four-credit class, it sunk my GPA. The rest of my college career has consisted of taking classes that I know I can get A's and B's in easily so that I can keep my scholarships so that I can stay in college, here at Concordia. This means I changed my major to communications and played around with a Business major. Those classes were too challenging for my minimal effort so I dropped that into a minor...which I then dropped last semester even though I only needed one more class...but it was too hard. I dropped the class which meant dropping the minor. Now I'm finally ending up with a Communications major and a marketing minor. I love communications, especially marketing...but I'm just not sure I'm built for a corporate job.
I don't want to wear suits. I don't want to wear dress pants and dress shirts. I want to wear jeans/shorts and t-shirts. I want to wear my fake-Converse everyday. I want to focus and deal with people and/or animals. Maybe I could teach kids about animals somehow. I don't know. I just don't know what to do.
Well, I truly wish this was a more interesting but it's what's on my mind. :) Next time I hope to have some interesting stories about spending a week at my grandpa's condo in FL with a bunch of old people on the beach.
Peace out.
Alicia
I have conflicting feelings at the moment. They're about a lot of things, but the biggest conflict is time. I'm really excited about Spring Break now that I have awesome plans and money to fulfill these plans (in Florida!!) but it means that when we get back the semester is half over. Seeing as how I have no post-graduation plans and that I'm not ready to leave all my friends, I'm dreading it. The worst part, honestly, will be the fact that my friends will be all spread out. I'll still have quite a few staying at Concordia (either for a 5th year or because they're underclassmen), and the others graduating with me will be spreading out all over the world. I love having everyone within a 2 mile radius of where I live. I've come to appreciate small-town life--which I never thought would happen. I live in a bigger city and I always thought that was where I was meant to be--in the cities. After almost four years here, I've realized that it's the people that make it awesome. Who cares where you live as long as you have great people to be with?
I shouldn't be worried. I'm a social person. I make friends easily. Every year at Concordia I've made new friends and hung out with a huge variety of people. Even this year, I'm constantly making new friends and finding new people to be with. I just love my Concordia family more than anything in the world. And I'm afraid of losing contact with people here. I know that we can try to keep in touch. I'm pretty good and keeping relationships with people long-distance...but it never fails that our relationship just is never the same. We talk--but there are huge gaps between when we talk. We visit--but there are even bigger gaps between visits. It's not the same as living near each other and communicating constantly. The transition from high school/home to college was so easy. I was very scared then, though. I know I can survive this next transition. I just know that Concordia is the best place I've ever been/lived and why change something that's so great?
It's weird that I have these feelings. It makes me sound like I'm not ready to "grow up", and in a sense, I'm not. But I've been mature for most of my life. I'm the kid in my family who grew up the fastest and took care of my responsibilities. I feel like now I'm reverting. I want the carefree life of a teenager. I don't want a stuffy 9-5 job where I'm indoors, stuck under fluorescent lights all day, then I trudge back to my home to my cats, tired because of the lameness of my job. I want a life where I'm out and about all day, meeting people, building relationships, enjoying the beauty of the outdoors.
This is a topic I keep coming back to...but it's because it's the biggest thing in my life at the moment. What I'm failing to do and why this makes my stomach churn when I think about it is because I'm not putting it into God's hands. I always forget that he has a plan and he won't let my life become dull or utterly miserable if I follow His will.
But what in the world is his will?? Have I missed it already? How does he let me know what it is? Text messaging? Highly doubtful. What if I've already screwed it up because I've wasted any little talent that he gave me to strive toward my goals?? I should have tried harder at my academics in college. I should have focused more on my faith and building it up instead of ignoring it and doubting it. I should have had a job since freshman year and been saving so I'm not cast to the streets because I'm too poor upon graduation.
I shouldn't have been lazy in my academics. This is my major college regret. I started out in college as a Biology major because I wanted to be a veterinarian or work in a zoo or train dolphins (most of which I still want to do!) but I took General Chemistry my freshman year. I got a C-, it was a four-credit class, took lots of work, and I did the minimum. Because of this low grade, and another in another four-credit class, it sunk my GPA. The rest of my college career has consisted of taking classes that I know I can get A's and B's in easily so that I can keep my scholarships so that I can stay in college, here at Concordia. This means I changed my major to communications and played around with a Business major. Those classes were too challenging for my minimal effort so I dropped that into a minor...which I then dropped last semester even though I only needed one more class...but it was too hard. I dropped the class which meant dropping the minor. Now I'm finally ending up with a Communications major and a marketing minor. I love communications, especially marketing...but I'm just not sure I'm built for a corporate job.
I don't want to wear suits. I don't want to wear dress pants and dress shirts. I want to wear jeans/shorts and t-shirts. I want to wear my fake-Converse everyday. I want to focus and deal with people and/or animals. Maybe I could teach kids about animals somehow. I don't know. I just don't know what to do.
Well, I truly wish this was a more interesting but it's what's on my mind. :) Next time I hope to have some interesting stories about spending a week at my grandpa's condo in FL with a bunch of old people on the beach.
Peace out.
Alicia
Love Songs
Last night I was driving back from Lincoln and heard a song on 98.1 called "Always the Love Songs," by Eli Young Band. They are a band based out of Texas, and having lived there for the last eight years, I've come to enjoy and follow their music quite adamantly. I've never heard them played on the radio anywhere but Texas, so I was pretty excited and happy that they are finally getting the national recognition that they deserve.
Anyways, the song itself, besides being extremely catchy, does a number of things for me. For one, it reminds me of Texas, of old friends, of past memories, of high school, of "love." It really got me wondering how many of the different songs that I know contain, within the words and music, memories of a lifetime. Music can be a powerful instrument, to put it lightly. It's amazing how many lyrics from songs back in the '90s are still imprinted in my mind. If only I could say the same about things I learned in school back then.
A second thing it did was make me think about love songs. Here comes the embarrassing part. I remember, when I was in junior high, hearing different love songs on the radio and thinking about that certain crush I had on this pretty girl in my math class. I remember wondering if I would one day, with the help of a miracle, be able to think about, or maybe even sing, that same song to my crush one day.
As the chorus goes:
It was always the love songs every time
Made everybody feel something inside
With the fire down low...held your girl real close
Made you wanna love the one you were with
Gave you the courage for that first kiss
It was the love songs
Always the love songs
Although, at the moment, I am questioning what "love" truly is and means, I cannot help but stop and think about how true those words of the chorus ring for me. Something about love songs, of your musical preference of course (i.e. rock, R&B, etc.), have a way of striking a chord in people. When I hear a love song, and definitely this song, I think of how I wish I could hear a love song and think of someone dear to me. Love songs, especially now, leave me wanting something more. Although, I have no one to share all of the radio's love songs with, I am able to wish, to wonder, to dream. And that is enough for me, for now.
---Austin
Anyways, the song itself, besides being extremely catchy, does a number of things for me. For one, it reminds me of Texas, of old friends, of past memories, of high school, of "love." It really got me wondering how many of the different songs that I know contain, within the words and music, memories of a lifetime. Music can be a powerful instrument, to put it lightly. It's amazing how many lyrics from songs back in the '90s are still imprinted in my mind. If only I could say the same about things I learned in school back then.
A second thing it did was make me think about love songs. Here comes the embarrassing part. I remember, when I was in junior high, hearing different love songs on the radio and thinking about that certain crush I had on this pretty girl in my math class. I remember wondering if I would one day, with the help of a miracle, be able to think about, or maybe even sing, that same song to my crush one day.
As the chorus goes:
It was always the love songs every time
Made everybody feel something inside
With the fire down low...held your girl real close
Made you wanna love the one you were with
Gave you the courage for that first kiss
It was the love songs
Always the love songs
Although, at the moment, I am questioning what "love" truly is and means, I cannot help but stop and think about how true those words of the chorus ring for me. Something about love songs, of your musical preference of course (i.e. rock, R&B, etc.), have a way of striking a chord in people. When I hear a love song, and definitely this song, I think of how I wish I could hear a love song and think of someone dear to me. Love songs, especially now, leave me wanting something more. Although, I have no one to share all of the radio's love songs with, I am able to wish, to wonder, to dream. And that is enough for me, for now.
---Austin
Open windows
I want rain.
As I child I loved thunderstorms. Not the kind that made the windows rattle but the kind that lit up the sky and had low rumbles. At night if it would be raining my mom would sneak into my room, open one window so we could hear the drops thudding against the grass and lay in bed with me until I fell asleep. Now, when I go home and it rains at night I still hope she'll sneak in and listen to the thunder with me. Sometimes she does and I enjoy the feeling of being little again, safe in my house even as the rain pours down outside.
OU
As I child I loved thunderstorms. Not the kind that made the windows rattle but the kind that lit up the sky and had low rumbles. At night if it would be raining my mom would sneak into my room, open one window so we could hear the drops thudding against the grass and lay in bed with me until I fell asleep. Now, when I go home and it rains at night I still hope she'll sneak in and listen to the thunder with me. Sometimes she does and I enjoy the feeling of being little again, safe in my house even as the rain pours down outside.
OU
Family Reunion
So, every year for the last weekend of February we have our Everts family reunion since it is my grandma's birthday weekend. We usually go to Iowa, stay in a hotel for the weekend, hang out, and head home on Sunday. This year we moved it to Lincoln because it's easier for grandma this way. (We used to do it in Iowa cause we have relatives all over the place.) This was just this weekend and not surprisingly, half of our family wasn't there. Okay, grandma was just diagnosed with Alzheimer's and it's bad when she says, "This could be the last year." That's never a good sign, but I was kinda ticked cause I mean I get that people have lives but she could be right. As much as I don't want to agree with that statement she turned 87 and it's getting close. I spent the summer taking care of her and when I went back to school my cousin took over for me. I know what's going on in her head and I'm sad that more of us couldn't be there.
But I guess the weekend was still pretty fun. Grandma had 8 kids over a lot of amount of years so the cousins are all different ages. There are 21 of us and I am the 3rd youngest. We are all kind of in different age groups but there's a core group of 6 of us that usually come very year aged 11-25ish that hang out. We had a cousins night which we usually do all crammed into one room. It was fun stuff. We usually play alot of cards (poker with candy hearts and BS) watch lame tv, are really loud, and this year there was a lot of drinking involved since now 4 of us are over 21. We had a really nice room this year. Fridge, microwave, coffee maker, big tv, two comfy beds...
Anyway, I forgot my point...I think...I'm a little out of it we don't sleep a lot during these reunions. I think it was that people need to realize that there probably won't be very many more of these and they should make it a priority. It's not like they don't know when we're having it and can't schedule around it, every year it's the same weekend. I'm just confused. I miss the old days when everyone was there and we were all loud and got disturbance notices. We got thrown out of Valentino's for being too loud one year. And we used to have talent contests and two of my guy cousins would do a killer version of "The Perfect Cheer" from SNL. (They did it at my cousin's wedding as well in her cheerleading attire, that was a sight to see). But everyone would be there. It sucks that we're not as close as we used to be.
But I guess the weekend was still pretty fun. Grandma had 8 kids over a lot of amount of years so the cousins are all different ages. There are 21 of us and I am the 3rd youngest. We are all kind of in different age groups but there's a core group of 6 of us that usually come very year aged 11-25ish that hang out. We had a cousins night which we usually do all crammed into one room. It was fun stuff. We usually play alot of cards (poker with candy hearts and BS) watch lame tv, are really loud, and this year there was a lot of drinking involved since now 4 of us are over 21. We had a really nice room this year. Fridge, microwave, coffee maker, big tv, two comfy beds...
Anyway, I forgot my point...I think...I'm a little out of it we don't sleep a lot during these reunions. I think it was that people need to realize that there probably won't be very many more of these and they should make it a priority. It's not like they don't know when we're having it and can't schedule around it, every year it's the same weekend. I'm just confused. I miss the old days when everyone was there and we were all loud and got disturbance notices. We got thrown out of Valentino's for being too loud one year. And we used to have talent contests and two of my guy cousins would do a killer version of "The Perfect Cheer" from SNL. (They did it at my cousin's wedding as well in her cheerleading attire, that was a sight to see). But everyone would be there. It sucks that we're not as close as we used to be.
Farm Life
I live on a farm. People say I "forget" to tell them that... I don't know if I assume they know that or why I don't tell them. I'm not ashamed of living on a farm, I enjoy the farm life. Yet when I take home friends and we're driving down a gravel road, the question usually comes up... "Where are we going?" I've gotten used to living in Seward. Although, the lights coming in through my blinds at night, bother me. The noises outside my window, I'm still not used to and usually want to get up from bed to see what's going on. I'm not a typical "farm girl," though... I don't do chores outside, except mow the lawn. I know nothing about the dairy cows that we have, other then that my Dad has to do chores daily at 5:30 a.m. and 5:30 p.m. I couldn't tell you how big an acre is for the life of me, but I could tell you what a combine and tractor is and that we plant and later harvest soybeans, corn, and alfalfa. When I ask my Dad questions about the farm, I have to remind him to explain it in English to me, because even in English, I'll probably be nodding my head in agreement without understanding what he's really saying. Yet, I still love the farm life, it will always be where home is.
~LAB
~LAB
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